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Doctor Plans to Box Covid

A fighting glove hitting a cartoon virus representing covid

Dr. Seymour Stokes, M.D, infectious disease specialist at Stupendous Health Medical Center in San Francisco, CA plans to box the Covid-19 virus. Boxing promoter, Alvin Thompson, a.k.a, Mr. More, President of Most Original and Relevant Entertainment, is excited about the event. “I have always liked a good bout. I am an athletic person, and I like fights in which a boxer wins against all odds. I figured this fight will get lots of attention. Covid is known worldwide! I mean Covid is not like your regular Joe boxer,” comments More.

Viruses are very tiny, measured in microns, so how does one box Covid? Dr. Stokes explains, “Well the coronavirus is measured in microns. You cannot see it with the naked eye. I am going to box a virtual coronavirus that is blown up to human size. I am working with a virtual reality production team to give it all the characteristics of Covid. The only thing I do not know is which variation I will be fighting because there are so many viral variants.”

Most boxers train for months to prepare for their opponent. Dr. Stokes is no different. His training includes cardio and study of the Covid genetic code to get a sense of its behavior in a boxing match. The boxing match takes place in three months.

“It might sound crazy to take on Covid. I mean, how do you approach it? How do you take on the spike protein? But I do not want to give away all my secrets. I am going to use my jab and then do a few right crosses. Covid is sneaky, but I think I can outmaneuver it and cut off the ring!” exclaims Dr. Stokes.

Dr. Stokes has sparred with simulations of the flu virus, adenovirus, rhinovirus, and enterovirus. His match against Covid will take place via virtual reality headsets. There will be an official referee, and the match will be live streamed across the world. With a virtual fight, Dr. Stokes will not need to wear a mask. But, yes, Dr. Stokes has been fully vaccinated and boosted.

Promoter Mr. More is still working on the odds for the fight. “Well, of course, in every boxing match there will be wagers. We are still working on the analytics to establish the odds for the fight,” says More.

The Stokes-Covid fight may be the most watched boxing match in world history. Dr. Stokes, good luck!




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