Little Thermont Meter, 3-month-old infant, was seen joyously smiling in the ER triage room. Smiling is a good thing. But what’s strange is that Thermont was recorded as having a 1,000°F temperature.
Allison Meter, Thermont’s mother, was very worried. “I'm a math teacher, and I was doing my logarithmic calculations. I have a file for everything, including my childrens’ temperatures. I grabbed up Gassy, Thermont’s brother. Gassy burps a lot. And I called the pediatrician, Dr. Liniment.”
Dr. Liniment thought the 1,000°F temp was a case of adding a degree. When children get a temperature taken under the arm, an axillary temperature, many people add a degree to predict more accurately the true temperature.
Barry Liniment, MD, 110-year-old practicing pediatrician, has seen it all. “When I heard about that high temperature, I knew it wasn’t a case of adding a degree. You don’t add a degree to get to 1,000°F. Normally, you must look at the kid to get the full picture. Is the kid playing or is the kid out of it, you know, lethargic? But that temperature was so high, I wasn’t going to take a chance.”
Thermont’s mom felt embarrassed by all the attention. “When we got to the ER, there were reporters and news cameras and people just waiting to see what a baby looks like who has a 1,000°F temperature. I guess news like that travels fast.”
Dr. Liniment even when down to the ER to see Thermont for himself. “The kid looked great. No lethargy here! Then we realized the reported temperature was all wrong. Thermont’s mom, entered the temperature into her logarithmic chart instead of the temperature chart.”
It seems that a logarithmic scale is the only way a baby can have a 1,000°F temperature. But we are all happy for Thermont. For more news about precocious infants, read about the Baby Seen Surfing in Utero.