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Doctor Uses Lemons to Power Sleep

Jack Wood, MD director of sleep medicine at Rock Harbor Medical Institute in Detroit, Michigan thinks he can add a few more sleep hours to your day without you having to get more sleep.

It’s been traditionally thought that you cannot store sleep, but Dr. Wood thinks he’s got a way to fuel sleep. The idea focuses around using the power of lemons to energize the brain into resourcing sleep.

“At some point in our lives, we have all gotten a sense of what a good night's sleep feels like. This may have happened on a vacation or on an occasion when you have downtime. My team has a proprietary idea in the use of lemons just like they use them in science experiments as batteries. In this case lemons would activate the sleep centers in the brain. This requires usage of our proprietary technology that we are still working to patent,” comments Dr. Wood.

It’s generally thought that sleep doesn’t help much with physical tasks, but it does wonders for the ability to focus and problem-solve. Dr. Wood continues, “With our methodology, we look for people to utilize the value of sleep while they’re still awake and performing tasks that require intense effort.”

“Lemons are so important at Rock Harbor that I’ve spoken with our Chief Medical Officer, William Farthing, M.D. and the hospital President Sloan Stokes, Ph.D. to ban the use of lemons for any other purpose than to fuel sleep. Unfortunately, that means no lemon bars, no lemonade, no lemon slices, and no lemon meringue pie. You get the picture,” says Wood.

A woman smashes lemon pie in another womans' face.

The news about no lemons hit a hard cord with Rock Harbor's research review board. Review board director, Sandra Citrusso, had an anxiety attack at the idea of no edible lemons. Dr. Wood intimates that he “bribed” Ms. Citrusso with a large piece of lemon meringue pie to get her review board vote.

According to Ms. Citrusso, “It’s not that I am addicted to the lemon meringue pie or anything. I understand the importance of making sure that our medical staff has its focus and quality at hand. The opportunity for fueled sleep is priceless. Knowing that they can fuel sleep with lemons is more important to our overall health system mission and goals.”

The new lemon conservation initiatives will roll out to Rock Harbor medical staff as soon as next week.




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